1988. To me, that doesn’t seem all that long ago. Reality, though, is that it was 29 years back. I guess that means I am getting older by the minute. But back in 1988, I was pastoring McKinley Community Church in Warren, Ohio. At the time, Warren was a town of 50,000 people. Lots of churches, almost all mainline denominations. Our church was a rarity as a nondenominational church. It was a very interesting time in our lives, a young pastor and his family making their way.

          We had gone on vacation. When we walked into the house upon our return, the phone was ringing. It was one of the local funeral homes and they had a problem. The next day they were going to have a funeral for a homosexual man who had died of AIDS. They had been trying to find a minister to do the service for three days, but no one in town would do it. Would I be willing?

          Marsha and I had lived in the Miami, Florida area until 1982. During the late 1970s homosexual men had begun to die at an alarming rate from some disease that wasted away at the body. Sometime in the very early 1980s they managed to isolate the virus and give it a name; Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome, or more commonly referred to as AIDS. But, even though we had been there at the beginning, I had never had to deal with the disease or with any of the families. At first, it was said that they would be able to contain the outbreak to the Miami area, but the disease takes 8 to 10 years to begin to manifest itself and it can be spread through blood transfusions as well as homosexual contact. There was no way to keep it contained.

          When we moved to northeast Ohio the disease was hardly a problem. I remember reading an article in our local paper around 1987 that a local man had been diagnosed with AIDS. Everyone was shocked. That just didn’t happen around our town! Local pastors were outraged. No one asked my opinion. I was young and of little importance.

          Now, however, we had an issue. No one really understood the disease. They didn’t really believe it could only be spread via body fluids. If you did this funeral you would have other homosexual men in attendance and almost certainly some of them would carry the virus. So, the pastors of the mainline denominations stood as one and refused to do the funeral.

          The funeral director was almost desperate. Before I could even mull it over in my mind my pastor’s heart spoke. Of course, I would do the funeral. After I had hung up my mind began to work. How else would I be able to get a foothold into the homosexual community to bring a witness of Christ and what better witness to bring when the other ‘witnesses’ were doing exactly what Christ would not? I found out later that many in our church were not happy, but that didn’t matter.

          I didn’t know how to approach the matter. None of my colleagues would share their wisdom. On the way to the funeral home to meet with family and friends that evening prior to the funeral the next day I decided to treat it as I normally would. The partner was there, who I treated as I would a grieving spouse. Of course, he was also dying of AIDS. There were a few others, including the deceased’s brother. I came away from the conference nervous and unsure of myself, but determined.

          At the funeral, I walked into a room full of men. The only woman in the room was the wife of the brother. I opened in prayer and then asked if anyone would like to say anything. The brother got to his feet and came to the podium. I was a little nervous about this. He had been completely quiet the night before. Now would he rip into these men and accuse them of being responsible for his brother’s death? After all, I had already received a few scathing calls from local clergy condemning me for just doing the funeral. Surely, this brother had some pent-up venom to release.

          He started out by saying that he was a born again Christian. He loved his brother. He didn’t agree with the homosexual lifestyle, but, in Christ, he loved each and every man in that room. And then, in a simple and humble manner, he explained the love of Christ and how only through Christ was salvation available to anyone, regardless of their lifestyle. He closed by saying that he hoped that he would see each one there in glory. I was totally pumped. I took the podium and built on what he had said. I gave them the opportunity to accept Christ where they were, just they and Christ. Afterward, several came up to me and told me that they were now believers. Their joy was all over their faces. Others went away completely under conviction, deeply affected. It was awesome.

          I took some things away with me that day. First, I had a new friend in that brother. His pastor had refused to do the funeral and he was heartbroken over it. We had several conversations about forgiveness. Second, I became known as the ‘gay pastor’ and other less flattering names. That didn’t last long, but the other pastors in town refused to deal with me much after that day. On the other hand, I did do a number of funerals within the homosexual community after that, including the grieving partner. Third, I had a relationship with that funeral home. Most every funeral home has one or two pastors they call on when they need someone to do a funeral for someone who has no church home. It is really hard to break into that set-up. In this case, though, their regulars had refused them. The funeral home was rather perturbed with those gentlemen and they began to call on me more and more. For the next 27 years I averaged between 30 and 40 funerals a year, having opportunity after opportunity to share the gospel with people who were otherwise content to ignore Christ.

          I didn’t condone the sin of homosexuality that day; I choose instead to promote the love of Christ. What has become interesting to me is that the very churches who condemned even the funeral then fully and completely embrace the lifestyle today. The United Methodist Church is struggling right now with the issue of homosexuality. I cannot understand that at all. The Scripture is very clear. It is a sin. Yet, one denomination after another has decided to ignore the Word of God and accept something that is just wrong. One pastor and I had a conversation one day in a hospital waiting room. She told me that it was all about tolerance. God has always shown tolerance. I told her she was mistaking God’s love for tolerance. If God was tolerant, why did He send His only Son to die on the cross? That went nowhere with her. It is, she said, the way the church stays relevant. It was like talking to a rock.

          My question, though, is how relevant is the church supposed to be? There was a time, not so long ago, that the church affected society. Now, society affects the church. Are we better off? In being relevant, are more people coming to Christ? For that matter, is being relevant causing those denominations which have embraced the sins of the world, to grow? Absolutely not. In striving to be relevant they are becoming irrelevant and are slowly dying. If you won’t stand for something, don’t expect people to stand with you.

          To be Christ-like is to be loving toward the sinner without being accepting of the sin.

          Blessings.