Is anyone listening to me?

        When you are talking to someone, are they really listening or are they hearing what they think you are saying?

        For instance, I went into the hospital in July of 2021 with an infection I didn't know I had. The infection was causing external issues as well as internal. I was really sick. One of the doctors told me later that they thought I might die. One day in the hospital I told a doctor that my back had been hurting for a while in a different way than before. I have had chronic back pain since 1978, but this pain was different. The doctor told me the infection was likely causing the pain. I told him again that it was different than before. This young, thirty something doctor, put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Well, as we get older, there are things we could shrug off when we were younger." And I got it. Young doctor who knows nothing about aging, assuring this old coot that he is fine. You just have to endure it.

        Next visit is with my nurse practitioner. Very nice young lady (maybe 40?), seems knowledgeable, very professional. I tell her about the back problem. "Well, Mr. Wade, as we get older, the things we could handle when we were younger become more pronounced.

        So, the back gets worse. I can't walk right. I hobble, I can't make visits, I miss some funerals. The walk from the office to the restrooms is agonizing. I am so unsteady that Brian Chamberlain is on the edge of his seat as lay leader in case I should start falling. Life is miserable. And when I tell a heath professional it is chalked up to aging.

        Then on December 29 of 2022, a pain hits me that I have never experienced before. I am at the church, and I yell so loud I think the neighbors will come running. Lights are exploding and there are strange sounds and I can't take a deep breath. I manage to get my phone and call 911. To Wabash ER, then to Huntington ER, then to Parview, Regional in Ft. Wayne. Even with pain injections I am trembling. Steve and Cindy Runkel come in to see me and I am feeling better, at least until I move. I get an MRI and am admitted. Being a holiday weekend, there is no one to read the MRI, but the hospitalist puts me on steroids and in a couple of days I am feeling better. 

        I am discharged and in a week I get in to see a specialist. She examines the MRI (and the CAT scan and X-ray) and she shows me the arthritis spurs on the outside of my spine and on the inside of my spine. The spurs on the outside have been causing the years of chronic pain and the spurs on the inside have irritated the spinal cord and have caused it to gradually swell until the pain is overwhelming. The specialist gives me a stern look and says, "Mr. Wade, this did not happen overnight. Why didn't you ever tell your doctor?"

        ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? I am not just an old guy who has nothing better to do than gripe!

        Many of you have been through the same thing. Trying to explain what is going on and the person you are talking to is thinking right past you and you wonder (or perhaps you yell) ARE YOU LSTENING TO ME?

        In Isaiah 30, the Lord, speaking through Moses, is talking to the people about their rebellious spirit. In verse 21 He speaks to the leading of the Lord. And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way, walk in it," when you turn to the right, or turn to the left. We have a choice; listen to the Lord, or don't listen to the Lord. He has set a path before us, He shows us the way, but we make the decision which path to follow. 

        We do that, don't we? Just like that doctor or our children or our spouse or whoever, we don't listen to the Lord. 

        ARE YOU LISTENING? I'll have to get back to You, Lord.

        Be aware of that still, small voice in the wilderness.