While I am happy that times change, I do think that young people miss the experience. My cars were always self changing cars. The weight changed when you hit a pothole because you left a pile of rust behind. The radio station changed for no reason. The oil changed itself. A quart on Monday and another on Friday because it leaked and burned oil. You had to change some things, like spark plugs and points and condensers and fan belts and hoses. You learned and you appreciated.
Marsha and I got to where we needed two cars. One day I passed a car in a yard with a For Sale sign. $75. As a point of reference, that would be around $350 today. (I looked it up.) Imagine you see a car on the side of the road for $350 today. You would buy that bargain. Or probably not. Anyway, not only was it rusted out, it looked like it had been in a dozen wrecks. It was beat up pretty bad. But, at $75, I had to look. I parked in the driveway and got out. From a distance of about ten yards, I could not tell what it was, so badly was the body beaten up. It was only when I got to the back could I really tell. I looked at the taillights and caught my breath. It was a Ford LTD. The luxury Ford. The bells and whistles Ford. The "I could never afford one of these" Ford. From the taillights I figured it was a 1967 model. Turns out, I was right. The year was 1976, so the car was nine years old. Old for that day. Still, it was a $75 Ford LTD. The big surprise was when I looked inside. The interior was immaculate. Luxury.
The owner came out and we talked. I went and got Marsha and when she saw it she was ready to kill me. Then she looked inside. She was smitten. "This is my car! I get to drive it!" So, we went away with our treasure.
The owner had told me the car had issues. He told me the engine ran and the brakes worked, the AC was shot but the heater worked, the battery had been in the car when it was new and the exhaust leaked into the car. You had to drive it with the windows down because of the exhaust leak and we found out on the way home that at 45 MPH, the headliner would descend and settle on your head. I was behind Marsha and suddenly she swerved and went into a yard and nearly hit a tree. It took a while to see that it wasn't some big bug, but the headliner had come down. None of that mattered. It was a Ford LTD.
However, it didn't take long for the whole LTD thing to wear off. We had to put a new battery in it and give it a tune up. In a week's time, we had more into the repairs and maintenance than we had paid for it. The car drew stares and laughter. The shocks were worn out, so it rocked and bounced. After a month or so, the LTD began to mean "Litter in The Driveway."
But we needed the extra car. When you were inside the car it was great. The outside was really bad.
One Friday night we decided to go to a drive-in movie. The drive-in was cheap and you could easily sneak in your own snacks. We usually took a pizza and a box of Ho-Hos and drinks. It was great. Not healthy, but great.
The drive-in was around five miles away. Marsha wanted to go in luxury, so we took the LTD. We had just gotten out of our drive when I saw flashing lights behind us. I pulled over. I started to get out of the car and heard a loud "REMAIN IN THE VEHICLE!" I sat back down and glanced in the rearview mirror. The police officer approached slowly with his hand on his gun. "This is not good, Marsha." He got to the window and shined his flashlight inside. He thoroughly checked me out, then Marsha. Then he barked, "License and registration." As he was examining those documents, another police car pulled up, nose to nose to mine, and that officer got out. He shined his light into the car. Finally, they told me to get out of the car. Other than giving me orders, neither had spoken to me. "Listen, what is this all about." Flashlight in my eyes. "Shut up." So, I shut up. They were checking my height. Finally, the first one said, "Alright, sir. You can go." The second one pulled away and I was clear to go.
We were both shaken up and talked a blue streak on the way to the drive-in. Just before we got to the drive-in, we had flashing lights both in front and behind. State Troopers this time. Pretty much the same routine as the first time. They would not answer my question as to what this was all about, and I was starting to get irritated. They let us go and we pulled into the drive-in. It just wasn't a good night. The pizza was doughy, the Ho-Hos were stale and the pop was flat. The movie wasn't very good, either. It was almost a relief to head home. Except.......
We were pulled over about a mile from the drive-in. Deputy Sheriff. Same drill. Another county car blocked us off, both drivers approached with their hands on their guns and flashlights trained into the car. This time we both had to get out of the car. Finally, they let us go. We pulled away and a mile down the road, two local police officers again pulled us over. Two different guys than the first time, but still not answering any of my questions. Finally, we pulled into our drive just as the flashing lights hit us again. State Trooper. Just one this time. Had to get out of the car again. And again, he checked out my license and registration. But this one seemed a little more laid back. So, I took a chance and asked him the same question I had asked before.
"Officer, we have been pulled over five times now tonight. Can you please tell me what is going on?" "Well, sir, there was an armed robbery tonight at the convenience store over on North Ridge Road. Sixty year old lady behind the cash register and the guy pistol whipped her pretty bad. A witness saw a car that matches the description of this car pulling away." "Oh, wow. Well, if he was driving a car that matched the description of this car, he hasn't gone far." The trooper looked at me quizzically. "Why do you say that?" "Because he is probably broke down somewhere." For the first time that night I saw a little smile. "Sir, I would advise you to park this car and not drive it anywhere until we catch this guy." "Yes, sir."
We sold it the next week. Got $100.
So, the theological application: there is none. Just sharing. Drive safe.
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