Marsha posted an article link on Facebook this week. It is an interesting read. Published by Fox News, it takes much of its information from Pew Research, which is one of the leading church research groups, along with The Barna Group, in the country. The article is called “When is it OK to Quit Your Church? Five Reasons to Leave.”

          Seems a little odd for the pastor to be directing people to a page that tells them they can leave the church. But I have always encouraged people to follow God’s lead, even to the point of telling them it is OK to leave. People who stay in a church when they feel God is moving them along are not helping the church where they are staying and they are hurting the church they are refusing to go too. Many will go to the church they have grown up in or where their parents have gone, but where we go to church should be a matter of God’s will. I hope I would never try and use guilt on someone to keep them in the church I serve.

          There are reasons to leave a church. But, the reasons most give for leaving have very little to do with proper reasons for leaving a church. The four most common reasons for leaving a church, according to Pew Research, are;

1.)            Sermon quality.

2.)            Welcoming environment/people.

3.)            Style of worship.

4.)            Location.

These may seem valid, but are they? Let’s look……

          Sermon quality. I have been told my messages are to long, to short, to intense, not strong enough, poorly thought out, not thought out enough, to Spiritual, not Spiritual enough. It goes on. I even had a deacon once, in all seriousness, ask me for a dozen or so sermon tapes to help him fall asleep at night because nothing snoozed him off like one of my sermons. In the late 1970s, early 1980s I was an associate pastor at a church in Hialeah, Florida. One of the older ladies in the church (late 50s, which to me at the time was ancient) told me that she could not stand the senior pastor’s messages. “Dry as toast.” A week or so later, in conversation with her husband, (a lovely and Spiritual man) he told me how much he appreciated Pastor Wilkes and what a wonderful preacher he was for our people. I have found that sermon quality is in the heart of the beholder. If it is from the Bible, how can it be bad? That may be too simplistic, but for me it is true. I quit trying to please folks from the pulpit a long time ago and I am not going to start stroking someone’s feelings now. Nor should I. I have never considered myself ‘the preacher.’ I am the pastor, and that is a different thing.

          Welcoming environment/people. I haven’t seen the poll, but I am going to assume that people leave because there is not a welcoming environment or people. But, in thinking about it, I have known people who go to a big, mega type church, because they don’t want to interact with others. So, I suppose it could be that on occasion someone would leave a church because people are too friendly. However, that would not be enough people to warrant being second on the list. In all likelihood, people leave because others are not friendly enough. Remember the old saying? “To have a friend you need to be a friend.” I have seen people come in to church over the years, accept the handshakes of others, but with their body language, make it clear they do not want to interact. Or, they come in, sit down and expect others to come to them. Or, they want attention and care, but do not have any desire to reciprocate. Humans are humans and if they sense someone does not want to be bothered, most of us will comply. It is not that the church is unfeeling. Crystal Latimer. Someone Marsha knew from work. She visited our church at the invitation of Marsha. Within three weeks she was treated like an old time member. People loved her. Another lady came in at the same time. Lasted three weeks then left because we were cold. Crystal thought our folks were the friendliest ever. The other lady actually refused to be greeted or shake hands.

          Style of worship. This one I get, to a point. If you are not comfortable with the worship, it might be hard to worship. Not everyone enjoys traditional music or contemporary praise music. Not everyone enjoys Power-Point messages. Not everyone enjoys a more charismatic service. Styles of worship can change. But, consider this; is your worship of God dependent on your comfort zone? If it is, are you actually worshipping or are you seeing to your personal traditions or desires? In the New Testament, Paul was preaching. He preached for so long, around three hours, that a man who was sitting in the window (presumably because of the crowd) fell asleep and fell to the street below. I cannot imagine that sitting in that window was comfortable, but he was going to worship regardless. I always figured he fell asleep because he had worked all day. If we held onto worship styles we would be worshipping like they did in the New Testament. Three hour sermons, meeting in homes, worshipping every night and doing communion each time. Would we like that? Of course not, mostly because it would conflict with our comfort zone. Before you condemn the style of worship, ask yourself if that worship is anti-Biblical or just anti-comfort. Because of my hearing, music is an assault to my ears. I would be much happier in a music free church. But God called me here.

          Location. Some people move away. They have to drive 30 or 40 miles to get to church. They drop out. But then, do they go anywhere else to church? Usually not. Few people agree with me on this, but I feel that if you drive past one or two like minded congregations on the way to the old church, pray about changing churches. It becomes to easy to not go on a snowy or rainy day. Then it is a habit to not go.

          Which brings me to this thought; if people drop out of church for any of these reasons, do they go elsewhere? The answer, mostly, is no. It is not the lousy sermons, it is not the people in the church, it is not the style of worship and it is rarely the location. It is the heart of the person who quits.

          This article does give five reasons to quit, though. Let’s look……

1.)  It’s OK to leave if God calls us to leave.

2.)  It’s OK to leave for family and marriage.

3.)  It’s OK to leave a church if you have moved too far away to conveniently drive to your church.

4.)  It’s OK to leave if you cannot follow the church’s leadership.

5.)  It’s OK to leave if heresy is being preached.

We should be in the church God has called us to be in. That is not just for the pastor. It is for each person. Churches have needs. Maybe that need is you. Nothing wrong with that.

When two Christians get married, but they have always gone to different churches, they need to go to the same church, together. Maybe it is his or hers or a different congregation altogether, but it should be a church that they decide on after much prayer together.

You should go to a church easy to get to, unless you feel the leading of God to continue at the old church.

If the church’s leadership is out of step with the Scripture, you can either stay and work to bring it back to the Bible or you can leave, depending on God’s leading.

If the Word is not coming from the pulpit, you can either stay and work to bring it back to the Bible or you can leave, depending on God’s leading.

We are about to enter a new phase in our church’s existence. Some may not be happy with it. But consider your actions. Most people leave church because it no longer suits them. Remember, though. It doesn’t matter if it suits you. It only matters that it suits God.