This is kind of cool, really. After all these years I can say with all truthfulness that I have no regrets in my career. There have been personal things that have happened that I wish had been different and I have had physical issues that have not been fun, but the things that really matter, all good. At some churches and in some situations there have been people who were hard to like, much less love. But in all cases the Lord has grabbed me by the back of the neck, given me a good shake and pointed me where He wanted me to go. Oh, I could get frustrated at times. For several years I was bi-vocational. Twisting wrenches and working at selling auto parts and going to school and serving a church and being a husband and father. Actually falling asleep at the dinner table. Once my head dropped right into the mash potatoes. My five year old son thought that was the funniest thing he had ever seen. (He turns forty five this Sunday. I don't know how that happened.) Later I was staff clergy at a funeral home while I also helped churches going through crisis. Always busy, always living by the clock. Frustration was natural. Yet, to me it was all a learning experience. There were times, though.....

    The time in question today was a Tuesday morning in June of 2007 when I worked at the funeral home. I had been on call the night before and we had had two in-home deaths. I had spent all night sitting with grief. My principle job. But I also had other talents no one had expected, such as having a knack of caring for a deceased individual. So, here was a warm day, a very tired man who had a long night behind him with a deceased man laying in front of him whom he was setting features on. I remember being tired of death. I was thinking of going to Tahiti on my vacation, maybe even taking the wife. And then my company cell phone started vibrating. It was the boss. There was a young couple up in the funeral home who had gone into their nursery that morning to enjoy their four month old infant son and they found the little fellow had died during the night. SIDS, or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome. No warning, no known cause. Happy the night before and dead by morning. The couple, the boss told me, was devastated. I needed to go and talk with them. I clicked off, took off the latex gloves, straightened my tie and went up the stairs to the viewing room, where the couple sat in despair. The wife was sobbing with deep, soft wails. The husband was trying to be strong but failing. I was tired and irritable and my first inclination to go back to the deceased, who at least was quiet. But, as always, the Lord grabbed me by the back of the neck. The thought ran through my mind, 'This is important.' So, I went over and introduced myself and we began to talk. For an hour and a half. I assured them the baby was in heaven and someday, if they were believers their own selves, they would see him again. The husband wanted to explain about being a believer, so I presented Christ. When they left, they were comforted. I, on the other hand, felt like I had been beaten up. But it was my job.

    Six months later it was a cold day in December. Normally, unless I was actually involved in the funeral, I was not present. But on this morning one of the fellows scheduled to work the parking lot had called in sick. We had a new guy who was working parttime, but he couldn't handle the parking lot yet. So, I put on the heavy dress overcoat, put on the earmuffs and gloves and went out into the snow. The new guy was standing in the parking lot facing away from me. Hands in his pockets, shoulders hunched. I went over to introduce myself and give him instruction. "Hey guy, I'm Larry, but everyone here calls me Pastor. I would be happy if you called me by name!" He stuck his own hand out and said, "HEY! It's me! Paul." Head scrunched down low in his coat, cap pulled down, only his eyes and nose visible. Even when pulled his head up in turtle fashion I didn't connect. "I bet you never thought you would see me working here! Last time I saw you I never wanted to see this place again!" And then the mental connection was made. In between parking cars we talked at length. He and Peg (his wife) were doing well. In fact, Peg was pregnant. They had gone back to their own church but had found it did not meet their need any longer. They were new believers and wanted to really explore the Word. They wound up in a really neat church and were growing. Paul was a fireman in our county's county seat and, because he worked twenty four hour days, he had time off that most did not. He wanted some parttime work and was drawn to the funeral home. This started a really good friendship. Over the next few years, Peg would give birth to three more children. They would adopt two children, a brother and sister, who had severe special needs. Eventually the little girl died, but she passed knowing she was loved. The young man and his wife found that they had a much larger capacity to love than they would have ever been aware of because they found a Savior who had a capacity to love so much that He died for the whole world. Over the years I have been blessed to enjoy the pictures of the kids getting older, enjoying their sports and 4-H, seeing Paul get some gray hair. No pictures of Peg. She refuses that, and that is her privilege. A Mom and a Dad who gave their all for the Lord and He, in turn, gave them more than enough love for everyone in their sphere.

    So what brings this to mind? This past Wednesday I had a procedure that left me in a lot of pain. On Thursday, barely able to function, I was grumbling to myself. In my seventies now. Fifty years in the ministry. Do I really need to have this much pain, Lord? Really? On Friday I lit up my computer, mostly to see if North Korea had nuked us during the night. What I got was a video of Paul being sworn in as Captain of the fire department. All of his kids were there and even Peg. Smiles all around. We were blessed to be there when Paul and Peg and the kids were baptized. We saw the growth, the purpose of people drawn to the Lord. And now, personal achievement. YAY!

    So, I sat there in pain. Tears in my eyes, thinking back to all those years ago. I was so tired that morning. Dealing with grief, and especially SIDS, is so hard. I had so much to do. What if I had returned to the prep room? Would their marriage have endured? Would there be anymore births? Would they have taken those two little ones who had only known pain and hate and given them love and compassion? Would they ever have come to the Lord? I don't know any of that. But I do know that when the Lord puts an opportunity in front of us, we seize it with both hands. IT IS IMPORTANT! Age shouldn't stop us, fatigue shouldn't figure into it, lack of knowledge shouldn't slow us down because the Holy Spirit will fill in the gaps. Just because your kids are no longer in VBS doesn't mean you are done.

    What is it I always say? BE A BLESSING!