Back in 2010, the funeral home for which I worked created a Facebook page. Actually, they had Marsha put it together since she knew that stuff. After that, all the employees were encouraged to create their own FB page if they hadn’t already done so and link to the company FB page. I resisted, but the owner applied some pressure and finally I started my page. There is very little about FB that I enjoy. To me it is a time waster. But I go on every day now to keep up with folks here and folks in Ohio. When the Lady Norse were banging away through the tournament, I was on FB a lot. But I really do dislike FB. 

          When I first went on it asked me for a profile picture. My immediate thought was, ‘Why would I torture people with a picture of me?’ No reason. So, I posted this picture;

          This is a picture Marsha took of a duck in the wild. She could tell you what kind of duck it is, how she managed to be still long enough for it to walk close and what the conditions were all around her. I just think it is a pretty duck. I like ducks. Especially roasted. They are a little greasy, but very tasty. But this fellow just catches my eye. I sometimes pull this picture up and look at it for a while. It is beautiful.

          So, the duck went on FB. Remember, this is 2010. A couple of weeks later I was bored so I checked my account for the first time. There were various friend requests, which I accepted (as instructed). A couple of more weeks went by before I checked the account again. To my surprise, there were postings I felt compelled to read. They were from my ‘friends,’ after all. I had no idea that anything you wanted to post, no matter how small, you could post. One of my 'friends' was eating lunch at Burger King and he wasn’t happy with his Whopper. Another 'friend' was in the Target parking lot, getting ready to go in. Another 'friend' was posting his political ramblings. I began to wonder why I had even involved myself in this silly thing. And then, someone asked me a direct question on my timeline; What was I trying to say with the picture of the duck? ‘The duck?’, I thought. It took me a minute to figure out what she was saying. It had been a month since I had posted, so I had actually forgotten the profile picture. When it came to me what she was saying, I sent back, “ It is a pretty duck.”

          When I checked back again she had responded. “Yes, but what does it mean? What was in your mind when you choose the duck for your profile picture? It is a statement, but of what?” I responded, “It is a pretty duck. That’s all.” She came back with, “Come on, Larry. It is the only picture you have. That makes it important. What is the deeper meaning?”

          I tried to think of something deep and meaningful, but I just drew a blank. So, I sent back again with, “Really, it is just a pretty duck.” This was irritating for two reasons. 1.) She wasn’t believing me when there was nothing in our past to make her think I would be untruthful and, 2.) she only lived two miles away. If she had called or stopped by (which is what a real friend, as opposed to a FB friend, would have done) we could have cleared it up in a short minute.

          Later that day she replied. “There is no way you would have posted a duck as a profile picture unless there was a deeper meaning. You don’t even like ducks.” I don’t know how she knew I didn’t like ducks. I didn’t even know I didn’t like ducks. Evidently, FB gives you extra powers of discernment. Anyway, now I was frustrated, but I was also getting a little angry. So, I took it to the one who knew everything about FB. I asked Marsha what I should do.

          “Unfriend her.” I looked at her in awe. “What? You can do that? You can unfriend someone?” “Of, course you can unfriend someone.” With that, she flipped through a page or two and came to where you could choose a friend to unfriend. No explanation required. A simple push of a button and the conversation was ended. I felt…….liberated!

          I learned two things. First, people get way to serious about Facebook. They try and read too much into what is really simple. Second, Facebook friendship is not real friendship. You can’t just click the mouse and send a real friend into cyber space. The sad truth is, there are many, many people out there who think FB friendships are the real deal. That is pretty horrible.

          It is a pretty duck, though.