As I start this blog today, I would like to thank Mark Wagner for posting the verses used on his Facebook page. Given the format it was in, I am almost certain he had posted it from somewhere else, but it had spoken to him. I enjoy reading these types of things because I know that a heart was touched. But, as I read Mark’s post, it triggered a thought in my mind. I went through each verse in the post and took a few verses out, since the Scripture used didn’t always pertain specifically to the spoken word, but for the most part I haven’t changed anything except to add my thoughts.

In the years I have been in the ministry I have seen much conflict, and most of that conflict has been caused by someone who felt they, and only they, had the answer and it was their duty, and their right, to tell the world. In the Bible, James talks about the evil the spoken word can do. James 3:1-12. Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. For we all stumble in many ways. And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body. If we put bits into the mouths of horses so that they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also: though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell. For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.

Perhaps the greatest problem we face in Christianity is the uncontrolled tongue. We all know the braggart, the boaster, the know it all, the quick tempered and so on. We often come to despise that person. But, do we ever look at ourselves and see if we are that person ourselves. As I went through these examples of when to be silent, I applied them to myself. I really do try to weigh my words before I speak, but do I always succeed?

Arby Taft. It was a great blessing to know Arby. He was a long time member of our church in Ohio. He and his wife, Alberta, were already in their 80s when we went to that church. He had been an Elder for a very long time, until he stepped down to make way for a younger person. However, such was the love for this man that they made him Elder Emeritus and encouraged him to come to the Board meetings and lend us his experience and knowledge. All this happened before I became pastor. I was told that Arby would come to the meetings, but he had no authority and no vote. It didn’t matter to me one way or another, so it wasn’t an issue. Arby would sit there and smile and answer a question if put to him, and that was all he really did,

There came a meeting, though, that was heated. The discussion was divisive, concerning whether or not the church should remain in the denomination we were in, which was going more and more liberal. Many wanted to stay because there are benefits to denominational membership. Some wanted to stay because we had always been in the denomination. And some wanted to leave because the denomination was liberal and was anti-Biblical. I was remaining silent on the matter because it was a church decision.

All of a sudden, Arby spoke up in a quiet voice. All arguing ceased. All got quiet. Arby spoke. What he said was sensible. It was wise. He spoke for about three minutes. It ended all debate. I had never seen anything like it. Here was a man who over the years had built up this huge store of respect and admiration. A man of few words, and those he did speak were kind and considerate. Here, he spoke his mind. As he closed the Board chairman looked around, called for a vote and then we closed. Arby had probably saved us a church split with his Godly spirit. What a contrast to all the arguing that had gone on before.

There are times to be silent and times to speak. Weigh your conversation against these simple rules.

Be silent in the heat of anger. Proverbs 14:17. A quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated. When one speaks out in anger, that person loses respect immediately. What they say may be right, but without respect, they may as well not have spoken.

            Be silent when you don’t have all the facts. Proverbs 18:13. If one gives an answer before he hears the facts, it is his folly and shame. It is a waste of time when you speak and don’t know what you are speaking of.

            Be silent when it is time to listen. Proverbs 13:1. A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. Most of the time we are better off listening rather than spouting off.

            Be silent when you are tempted to make light of holy things. Ecclesiastes 5:2. Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore, let your words be few. It is not wrong to question God, but it is wrong to be critical of God. After all, He is in His heaven and we are just His creation. He knows best.

            Be silent when you are angered by God’s forgiveness of a sinful one. Proverbs 14:9. Fools mock at making amends for sin, but goodwill is found among the upright. If Osama bin Laden had professed Christ before he had died, how many would have thought that was fair?

            Be silent if you would be ashamed of your words later. Proverbs 8:8. All the words of my mouth are righteous; there is nothing twisted or crooked in them. Everyone is going to have a moment when our minds are not fixed on God. To say that your mouth is righteous is to say that when a curse or angry thoughts come, they don’t reach our longue and lips.

            Be silent if your words could convey the wrong impression. Proverbs 17:27. Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Collect yourself before you speak.

            Be silent when you are tempted to tell a lie. Proverbs 4:24. Put away from you crooked speech, and put devious talk far from you. All lies are sin, all are wrong. “Even to the point of saving someone’s feelings?” Yes. That would be a time for silence.

            Be silent if your words will damage someone else’s reputation. Proverbs 16:27. A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. The person who talks evil of someone else appears worthless to their listeners and, according to this from God’s word, they are worthless before the Lord.

            Be silent if your words will damage a friendship. Proverbs 16:28. A dishonest man spreads strife, and a whisperer separates close friends. This isn’t talking about damaging a friendship between the dishonest man and his friend, but about two other friends. The dishonest man, the whisperer, already has very few friends.

            Be silent if you can’t say it without screaming it. Proverbs 25:28. A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. When you speak and you are ‘in the moment,’ you leave yourself wide open to distain.

            Be silent if your words will be a poor reflection of the Lord or your friends and family. 1 Peter 2:21-23. For to this, you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps. He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly. Something few stop to consider. We are examples of Christ in everything we do or say. You open your mouth in anger or frustration or without knowledge or without understanding, you are shaming the very name of Christ.

            Be silent if you may have to eat your words later. Proverbs 18:21. Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. We have to pay the price of an untamed tongue eventually.

            Be silent when you are tempted to flatter a wicked person. Proverbs 24:24. Whoever says to the wicked, “You are in the right,” will be cursed by peoples, abhorred by nations. Sometimes we lift up politicians or preachers or others even when we know they have an evil heart, simply because they agree with us at that moment. The same can be said about an athlete who wins the big game for our team. Evil is always evil and is something we need to avoid.

            Be silent when you are supposed to be working instead. Prov. 14:23. In all toil there is profit, but mere talk tends only to poverty. The more we work for the Lord, the less critical we can be.

             To close this out, I would like to put this thought out; If we are to be silent all these times, when can we speak? Proverbs 15:1. A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Consider your words. Maybe you are right in what you say, but are you proper? Are you edifying the Lord? Is your response soft on the ears of your listener? Weigh your words.